I do a lot of work around beliefs with people because we know that our beliefs determine our perception and therefore our experience of life, love, success and abundance or lack thereof. If you believe it’s hard to make money or that you don’t deserve success, you’ll see evidence of that being true, attract circumstances to prove that they’re true and then experience it, proving yourself right and therefore believing even more that it’s true. Sucks huh!
But what makes it even harder is when the belief turns into a need! Ugh…
We call this an “attachment”. To me this is a collection of beliefs that are around a given topic or focus, particularly related to what you believe the thing/experience/person will add to your life but also what not having it/them will mean.
The problem is that people create and intensify their own pain by having a need or attachment to the thing they think they HAVE to have in order to be happy, wealthy, loved etc…
See if you can relate to any of these, if you can, chances are you are creating more pain in that area than is actually necessary:
- I need to have more money.
- I need to get more clients.
- I need to be a size <pick the “perfect” size>
- I need to have more time.
- I need to have be in a relationship or be loved.
- I need to get married.
- I need to have kids (sometimes by a certain time/age).
- I need my partner to be a certain way so I can be happy.
- I need to be successful.
- I need to have that promotion.
- I need others to support me.
- I need my family to accept me
- I need to keep everyone else happy.
- I need to everyone to like me.
- I need to… and the list goes on…
These attachments are created through the fears that exist within them of what happens, or what it means, if they don’t have/experience them… And these fears are made up of bundles of limiting or disempowering beliefs. It’s seriously a Chinese puzzle box when you really dig into it.
The problem is that the beliefs behind the needs aren’t based in truth and then they intensify the fear, which fuels and drives sabotaging behaviour and intensifies a need to control or hold on, plus push away the things they really want. What a pain in the ass, right?
As an example, entrepreneurs who have an unhealthy attachment to money can drive themselves to work stupidly long hours, over give of their time and services to get more money at the expense of their health and family, and they tend to work themselves into the ground. Burnout anyone?
People who need to be in a relationship (often because of a need for love), will go from one relationship to the next, not learning how to truly love themselves and enjoy their own company. Sometimes jumping into very unhealthy relationships and sacrificing their needs and boundaries for months, years or even decades just to stay with that person.
Someone who has an attachment to “the perfect body” will diet and exercise ridiculously, beyond what’s healthy but they won’t be able to see it, and often get very upset or frustrated when they don’t see progress and often feel excessive amounts of guilt if they slip up on their diet or don’t get to the gym for a day. The pressure is huge to be perfect but they can’t even see how perfect and gorgeous they already are.
The need is what drives them, almost as if they have no control, and in reality, they kind of don’t. And when the need isn’t met, or can’t be, it causes great frustration, anger, sadness, guilt and pain in general. Think about it, if you didn’t need it and knew you’d be completely fine without it, it wouldn’t matter if it didn’t show up…
Oh and from a manifesting perspective, need and attachment create energy blocks; by trying to control the outcome you create an energy signature of “it’s not here!” so of course it can’t come in because it has to stay “not here” to be in alignment with what you’re putting out. Whereas an energy signature of gratitude for already having it or having enough of it, is aligned with it being there already so it can actually come in.
When you really look at it, most people are almost reacting to the need as if their survival depended on it when it 95% of the time, it doesn’t (when it actually does that’s different story, I’m not talking about those times here).
This is not a simple fix for most people because humans are complex with a complex set of beliefs that make up their mind-set, which determines the level of need and therefore the amount of frustration, stress and pain they experience. So what is the answer?!?! What’s the antidote?!?
Releasing and clearing beliefs at the subconscious level as well as releasing all needs and attachments is how the driver for need is changed; this is how you get back in control of your life! Sounds simple, right? Well it is if you have a tool or technique that can help you do that.
As I’ve cleaned up my own mind-set and released my own attachments, as my clients and students have too, it has dissolved the unhealthy drive and moved us back into our power; back into a place of CHOICE. Which is where the healthy balance, being able to truly BE present and blissful happiness live.
No more burnout, no more stress over money or time, no more emotional or binge eating but a love for our bodies as they are, along with an innate desire to just be healthier and happier each day. Ahhhh balance!
If you want the tools to be able to do this for yourself quickly and easily, check out the Source4Shift Technique and book a call to chat to me about where you’re at, what you’re struggling with most and to see if this is the powerful solution you’ve been looking for <3